I Can Feel How It Feels to Be Free Again

"You intendance and then much you feel every bit though you will bleed to death with the hurting of it." ~JK Rowling

Sometimes the last matter we desire to do is experience our feelings. Because feeling can injure.

Feeling tin can make you weep in the laundromat.

Feeling can brand your face unattractively red in the frozen nutrient aisle.

Feeling can make you think this whole beingness man racket is not the best way to spend your time.

If you've been stuffing your feelings back into your rib cage whenever they effort to break for the light, this is particularly true. I know, because this is exactly what I did with my feelings for thirty-3 long years.

Oh, those crafty feelings would brand the occasional jail break, and then I'd vibrate with a nameless rage that concluded in cell phone devastation when technology met brick wall. Or I'd start screaming and yanking at my wearing apparel—aye, actual rending of garments—because the blitz of pain was too intense to comprise within my frame.

My mom is addicted of proverb that, for the get-go few years of my life, she idea she was raising a monster. Every bit an empath in a house where emotion was treated like a ticking bomb, I was feeling emotions for the unabridged family unit, and all those feelings were processing through my eyeballs and via my vocal chords.

And so I learned to stifle my sensitivity and emotion in a well-significant but mistaken effort to protect those around me. Many of u.s.a. do.

We learn that emotions aren't safe.

We learn that crying is non appreciated.

We learn that life runs more than smoothly when we pack our emotions into our spleen and forget virtually them.

Information technology wasn't until my father landed in the hospital thirty years later that my personal emotional apocalypse began.

Trapped in a hospital bed, unable to move, all the feeling and empathy my father had successfully stifled for seventy years—with work, wine, and science fiction novels—rose up to merits him. He couldn't comport to be in his body whatever more, so he stopped eating until he didn't have to be.

Pressing play on his favorite John Coltrane track or reading his favorite passages, non certain what he could hear through the morphine haze, the solidity of my emotions began to crack.

As we waited for my father to dice, I roamed the infirmary halls and spilled java on the pristine floors, feeling like I would jump out of my skin. Since writing was the merely means I had of processing emotion at the time, I began to tape my experiences on Twitter. Never earlier had I experienced such a blitz of beloved and back up.

The cracks began to widen.

After his death, my tenuous withal carefully clutched emotional control completely unraveled.

As I began to lean into the cleansing rush of feeling, rather than running determinedly the contrary management, life began sending me the experiences I needed to learn how to surf the wave of the emotional onslaught.

I learned how to greet my feelings as friends rather than every bit a nameless beast out to destroy my life—or at least my morning.

I learned where emotions would hide in my body, lurking between my ribs or huddled in my belly.

I learned how to allow the literal physical feeling of my emotions to burn itself out, by but feeling the sensation instead of judging it or make it mean something.

I learned how crucial it was to feel my fashion through my emotions so that I could connect with my inner wisdom.

Devoting myself to processing my feelings, rather than letting them build upwardly until they tuckered me, began to shift and transform my life.

Depression became a distant memory. I stopped feeling the need to potable, heavily or at all. Quitting sugar became easy, unless I was in the first throes of grief.

(Any necessary grieving process buys me a few months of sugar, low energy and crankiness be damned. When I'm grieving, I won't have free energy or optimism anyway, so may as well eat red velvet cupcakes.)

When I try to pivot down exactly how I learned to shift and flow with my feelings, rather than strapping them into concrete shoes and tossing them into my stomach, this is what shows up:

Every feeling has a message.

Possibly that message is simply to permit yourself to feel the emotion until it dissipates. Possibly the feeling is guiding you toward some action.

One time, when a boyfriend and I were talking about moving in together, fear and anxiety began flying through my torso like cocaine-addled pinballs for no apparent reason. In other words, I started flipping out, which didn't make any sense, given that this was something I'd been wanting.

When I began to explore the onslaught, I realized that there were deeper issues we needed to delve into before taking that pace.

If something persists—anger, fear, feet—simply ask it what information technology wants to tell you. Sit quietly and allow the answer to appear. When y'all experience peaceful, you take your answer, whether or not you like what that answer says.

Processing your feelings gives you admission to your own inner wisdom and innate creativity.

If I sit downwardly to write and zilch comes, I hunt down any feelings that I've been avoiding. Sometimes I'll demand to abandon work to roam the beach and cry. Sometimes I'll give the feeling v minutes of attending and get dorsum to piece of work.

You already accept all the answers y'all will ever need inside of you—and your emotions are a principal vehicle for those answers. Learning the language of your feelings will give you your own personal Sherpa through life.

All this feeling you're carrying around may not exist yours.

Sensitive, empathic people are the proud recipients of a double whammy. Yous're not just conveying around your emotions, you lot're also carrying the emotions of people yous walked past in the grocery shop, the homeless woman y'all spoke with on the corner 2 years ago, the friend who vented last week.

Your own emotions may exist crowded by the emotions of others that y'all absorbed unconsciously, sometimes by simply walking by them in the street.

Learn how to clear the emotions of others from your field. I way to do this is to imagine roots extending from your feet into the eye of the globe. Send all the emotion and energy that doesn't belong to you downward those roots and into the earth. Feel it draining out of your field and into a place where it can be transformed. Exercise it daily.

Feeling your emotions brightens your life, both internally and externally.

You already have every answer you will always need inside of you; you merely need to learn how to access that data. Answers most your relationships, your life direction, how to take care of your health, how to motility toward what y'all want. Translating what your feelings are trying to tell you provides a direct conduit to your own higher wisdom.

It may take time and sustained attention to articulate out what yous were in the habit of stuffing down, but the more than y'all lean into whatever is request to exist seen, the more than your life will open up and expand.

Encephalon gremlins won't take equally much gluey emotion to latch onto and they'll become easier to gently gear up bated. What once felt heavy and overwhelming volition experience light.

And everything will change.

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Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-feel-your-feelings/

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